Little Bits of Pretty

DSC_0064

I can’t think of a thing to say that doesn’t either dwell on, or gloss over, the never-ending downward spiral that is my mental state. I feel like I’m wrestling lions most days. Such is life. Such is my life, in winter. Such is my life in winter, without prescription pain medication.

I have gotten into the habit of putting one foot in front of the other, as is necessary to keep going on this path, although for what purpose and for how long is anyone’s guess. I can’t find joy in anything.

Brief flashes of hope come in the shape of beautiful yarn, or pretty stitch markers, or treasure hunting vintage things (that antique postcard of my Cambridge alma mater made me actually smile for goodness sake – that view has not changed in a hundred years). I distract myself and bribe myself in equal measure.

I’m still knitting, of course. The steady rhythm of the needles soothes me. Plans for what this sweater will look like provide a buoy to aim towards. I’ve even got plans for dying yarn when the weather improves – I don’t really have the room, but dying things is just plain fun no matter how mental you are, and there’s something a little bit magical about an item going into the pot one thing and emerging having metamorphosised into something else. Have I just made that word up? Jolly good.

Little bits of pretty to soothe my weary soul and shattered head.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Little Bits of Pretty

  1. Oh Debbie, I do feel for you and wish things could be different. Praying that you will be given the strength to keep going, and that there will be continue to be glimpses of beauty and sunshine to lift your spirit.

    Like

  2. These small little things give us some relief. They really do 🙂

    Seeing a small rain creek flowing through little grass by the side of the road in rainy days… looking at the children enjoying their time… listening to their naive points of view about the world… drinking a cup of rich creamy coffee that happens to have its ingredients mixed well… having a hot shower and applying some lotion and dressing in a freshly smelling clean PJ… listening to a beautiful recitation of Surat Yousuf…

    Life is soul crushing… but these little joys prevent us from going insane 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s