Memories :: 5

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I try to educate my children

February 19, 2009

I really do try. I try to give them experiences of the world, I try to follow their interests. I try to educate them in a conventional sense too. As well as encourage academia I try to instill an appreciation of higher culture. As well as sitting inside doing quiet work I try to balance this with activity and company and adrenaline. In short, we try as parents to live and give a balanced life.

Anyone who homeschools their kids and says it is easy it lying. It isn't easy. Because life impinges on everything. You have to stir the cooking as you are watching your eldest work on his Math. You have to wash the dishes and let the little one play along. You are constantly juggling – the needs of your children, the needs of the house, and finally, last of all, your own needs (which alway almost certainly come a very belated last). And it never stops. There is no break, no five minutes to gather oneself, to do what one wants, because there is always a question to be answered, and a person to be nurtured. And if you are fortunate enough to have a 'spirited child' the work is so much more intense.

Some days things go well, or OK, or evern sufficiently passable.

But other times I feel like a hurricane has ripped through and I'm left bewildered and shell-shocked and grappling to hold the threads together lest they unravel completely. {And sometimes when they do it isn't a bad thing… }

But me? I find the drudgery so very underwhelming.

And perhaps it isn't even the drudgery, but the feeling of battling, against all odds, against the norm, against society and government and the disapproval of others which eventually seeps in and creates doubt and dissatisfaction which you must keep quiet upon which is the real brain burner.
Having chosen a path there is the assumption you can't complain about it. That if you have chosen a path you can't have doubts, that you don't have misgivings.

Well this week has had a few of these days. A few too many, perhaps. I've had a week-long migraine, and I think that's nature's way – it's a reminder to me to take a step back. To stop, and breathe and recharge.

 

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5 thoughts on “Memories :: 5

  1. I hear you. I get this feeling often (although I don’t homeschool) but I have two children 1 toddler and 1 baby and I feel all day long I am being pulled in every direction and some days I totally feel bewildered as you put it. And then you feel like you shouldn’t complain because you chose it but sometimes you just can’t help it I know.

    Like

  2. Oh friend…Im sorry things are feeling so out of balance. You are a great mom, and a great teacher. But it sounds like you are on the right track…recharge and renew yourself. Thinking of you…E

    Like

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