Dear Spam Email People

Just a little note that you will never read but which I’d like to ram down the throat of every. single. one. of you. Several times over. With a cattle prod.

Your quest to get me to buy viagra is unrelenting, ney, intense on the point of harrassment. But I am curious to all you spammers out there – have you really had anyone visit your site/buy your crap merchandise? Really?

Funnily enough the moment I see the words “Dear Sir; Dear Sirs; Yo Yo Qalballah!; GrEaT SEXXXX; ViAgRRRA$$; Improve your sex life; Congratulations! YOU ARE A WINNER; Lottery winner!!” I instantly nuke it. I guess the same is true for all other sane, non-horny, normal people who don’t have penis enlargement issues…

Neither do I want to pick up a fortune from Mr. Walagumbawala from Nigeria by simply responding to your mail. I don’t want to act on behalf a widower in Katmandu and contact the solicitors to make an instant commission. I will. not. give. you. my. card. details. ever. so give up. I don’t know whether to impressed by your persistence or insulted for your lack of regard for my intelligence but please end your enslaught. My inbox overfloweth. It cannae take anymore.

And where the HELL did you get my mail address from?!

And just so you know? I can’t read Cantonese.



3 thoughts on “Dear Spam Email People

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s