It hits me that Mum isn’t there and things aren’t normal when I instinctively reach for the phone to call her. When I remember something funny the boys did; or just to pass the time chitchatting. She’s not there. I have regrets and pangs of sadness, of aching to get back what I once had so I could appreciate it this time. Because no matter how long you have it is the art of forgetfulness and not living the moment in gratitude that will leave you winded when it ends. Doesn’t matter if it was 5 minutes or 5 years – the quality of the moment and the state of the heart will make that time full of joyful memories or bitter regret.
And it reminds me of a Nasruddin tale where Nasruddin met a man on the roadside with a bag and his head in his hands crying. Nasruddin asked him what the matter was and the man complained none-stop about his life. At that point Nasruddin grabbed the bag and ran off down the road with it. The man, so shocked at seeing his bag stolen stopped crying and complaining and instead concentrated on the matters at hand and ran after the thief.
Nasruddin ran around the village, over fences and circled back on himself leaving the bag in the road exactly where it had been before he had taken it and he hid behind a bush. Eventually the man caught up with him and found his bag waiting for him. So overjoyed was he at finding his bag he praised Allah and danced in circles. From behind the bush a voice was heard:
“Well, that’s one way to make a person happy”.
The point I suppose is not needing to have your bag stolen before you appreciate it.